Book 1, Week 7
My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem
“Trauma is never a personal failure, nor the result of someone’s weakness, nor a limitation, nor a defect.”
Too often, when we experience difficult times, we feel shame. Shameful we aren’t “strong enough”, guilty for taking up space and a desire to shrink ourselves to hide away the reality… But the emotions we feel, the way our bodies respond to events, what we subconsciously carry… are not there because we failed. They exist as a form of protection.
We can collectively learn how to recognize our experiences in order to heal with the many ways Resmaa has mentioned earlier in the book (Vagus nerve exercises, Orientation with our surroundings, Body Scans, Reflection with self compassion, Body Releases…)
Often, we may want to close ourselves off from community when we are facing difficult times. In many instances, that might be exactly what you need to feel safe, process, and settle your nervous system. But let's not forget that if enough bodies can learn to harmonize, it can turn into a culture of resilience and flow.
In chapter 14, Resmaa Menakem talks about ways we can practice harmony in community. A few examples are:
Humming
Walking silently and syncing footsteps
Singing a lullaby/song together…
But before we can do that, it’s important to come back to the steps that were taught to us in chapter 12: the 5 Anchors in how to move through clean pain…
Soothe yourself and quiet your mind
Notice sensations/emotions in your body
Accept discomfort
Stay present and respond from the best parts of you
Safely Discharge any energy that remains
If we are able to remember these steps in the slightest, we might be able to avoid escalating situations where we feel triggered. Knowing we have these tools, might make engaging in community settling practices a bit more inviting.
Perhaps this weekend, you ask a close friend of yours to participate in an activity that soothes your nervous system.
Please join us for our next meeting- regardless of how much you have read! Our Next Meeting: 📅 June 28th, 10am ET 🕑 1 Hour 📚 Chapters 11-End 📍 Google Meet, Join here